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Being as I own a #HarleyDavidson


Vista

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The gag below seems appropriate 

Joe wanted to buy a Harley Davidson. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. 

The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.

He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. 

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family. When we eat dinner, we don't talk."

In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

He leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table 
and screws her, right there in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.

Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose 
right there on the dinner table.

She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down.

His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still ... . Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

At this point Sandra's father leaps to his feet and shouts:

"Alright,alright, I'll do the f**kin’ dishes!!"

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35 minutes ago, Vista said:

Lol, indeed I don't. The v-rod is a 125bhp water cooled V twin, on the open road it'll show a clean pair of heels to many a pretty boy on a jap sports bike

 

Would be referring to a fs1e to show your heels to ?? Most of the jap bikes are knocking on the door of 200 bhp!!

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25 minutes ago, colr6 said:

Would be referring to a fs1e to show your heels to ?? Most of the jap bikes are knocking on the door of 200 bhp!!

:gary:That's not a sports bike, it's a super bike and with jap bike depreciation, by next week it'll be worth about 3 wine gums and a curly wurly......oh and their riders smoke goats for shits and giggles! :wiggle:

  • Haha 1
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Mmmmmmmmm no mention of a Harley here?

10 Most Popular Sport Bikes of 2017

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  • 9 months later...
On 24/09/2018 at 23:30, Vista said:

Yeah, all girly hairdresser's bikes, sort of the two wheeled equivalent of the XR3i :mrgreen: :queer:

Whereas yours is a two wheeled, actual recreation of a Massey Ferguson tractor! @Vista you have gone so far down in my estimation admitting to this mental glitch- its truly sad! :pointandlaugh: (GSXR1460 Turbo EFI owner - 370hp but not bragging! LOL!)

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9 minutes ago, katana said:

Whereas yours is a two wheeled, actual recreation of a Massey Ferguson tractor! @Vista you have gone so far down in my estimation admitting to this mental glitch- its truly sad! :pointandlaugh: (GSXR1460 Turbo EFI owner - 370hp but not bragging! LOL!)

370bhp? Is that to carry all the extra weight of that monstrously bloated japanese barge about? I will stick with my tractor, much more fun than an oversized missile thanks. :mrgreen:

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On 25/09/2018 at 08:30, Vista said:

Yeah, all girly hairdresser's bikes, sort of the two wheeled equivalent of the XR3i :mrgreen: :queer:

I didn't realise XR3i's were girly? Are any Mk3s considered masculine then? (Could this be the reason why we never got Mk3s in Australia but they became a British best seller?) :mrgreen::slap::arnie:

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1 hour ago, Rally Pack 2000 said:

I didn't realise XR3i's were girly? Are any Mk3s considered masculine then? (Could this be the reason why we never got Mk3s in Australia but they became a British best seller?) :mrgreen::slap::arnie:

Over here, the convertibles especially,  they were often dubbed hairdresser's cars. The RS Turbo was a bit more butch mind. 

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8 minutes ago, Vista said:

Over here, the convertibles especially,  they were often dubbed hairdresser's cars. The RS Turbo was a bit more butch mind. 

You know I remember the very moment I saw my first Mk3 Escort. It was my first trip out of Australia and I was in Singapore, it was blue XR3. I thought it was stunning. I came home and told all my friends how we were being ripped off by Ford Australia supplying this re-badged Mazda 323 as the Ford Laser. Years later a friends girlfriend bought a South African imported one which she asked me to fix the starter on. It was just a basic 1.6 but it was so much better than the Laser in every respect. Once you have seen and driven a Laser, all Mk3s are butch to me!

Series 1

FordLaser4s.thumb.jpg.4bd97e48135b88a98d446a075e86699c.jpg

It was so bland that they tried to make a sportier Series 2 version trying to replicate the look of an XR3 even down to the replica wheels. Only looks though it had the same engine as the regular ones.

FordLaser5.jpg.c317e9ced7f262970cb6a46a7160a957.jpg

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  • 1 year later...
5 hours ago, katana said:

'Fools and their money' springs to mind or 'there's one born every day' also fits LOL! I'm surprised there was much left of it after 3+ years of Cornish sea air!

It's a great bike and nothing at all like the loud grumbly air cooled V twins that people typically associate with HD. As mine was one of the last registered new in the country, I guess it's desirable.

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