There must be a fair few threads on this, so 1 more can't hurt. I heard this on 5-live, this afternoon.
If you're running out of plan paper, just photocopy you're last sheet until you have enough.
or
Fool passers by into thinking you keep a bird of prey by walking down the street wearing a leather gauntlet, waving a piece of raw meat in your hand and constantly looking up into the sky.