Stiggy Posted June 13, 2011 Report Posted June 13, 2011 David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits.. From next week the forms will only be printed in English. The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 Million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil Wife says to husband "you only ever want sex when you're drunk"husband says "thats not true........ sometimes I want a kebab" A farmer gets a phone call from his son. I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive...shoot it says the farmer, and then bury it.....about 20mins later he gets another call...done that, what should I do with his speed camera and motorbike Sky news report. The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya .... They sent in 3 ships - 2 full of sand and one full of cement..it was a mortar attack. The missus asked if she pleased me in bed? I said "yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth." . . . "What trick?" she asked? "The one where you shut up and go to sleep!" My son was sent home from school for swearing today. I said what did u say? He said the c word. I said it wasn't clever, was it? He said no, it was cu…t. A geordie and a Yank aid worker are helping out in Japan Yank says, "You from round here, buddy?" "No," he replies, " Newcastle " "What State's that in?" asks the Yank. "Pretty much the same as this f*cking place! An assortment of high powered weapons and a stash of drugs including cocaine, heroin and ecstasy have been found behind the Job Centre in Liverpool . The locals are said to be in a state of shock........;They had no idea they had a Job Centre! Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship... she replied "wear a seatbelt and don't pee me off!" A man approaches a young doris in a shop. he says i can’t find my wife, can I talk to you for a few minutes? the doris says sure but do you have any idea where your wife is? Not a clue he says but whenever I talk to a doris with t!ts like yours she appears out of nowhere! The Japanese government have thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent out . They said they were delicious!
deltamal Posted June 13, 2011 Report Posted June 13, 2011 Great jokes, you've brightened a manky Monday!
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