Admin Mk2Jo Posted October 10, 2006 Admin Report Posted October 10, 2006 > > > > 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. > > "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished >cleaning." > > > > 2. My mother taught me RELIGION . > > "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." > > > > 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. > > "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle > > of >next week!" > > > > 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. > > " Because I said so, that's why." > > > > 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. > > "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going > > to >the shops with me." > > > > 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. > > "Make sure you wear clean underwear,in case you're in an accident." > > > > 7. My mother taught me IRONY. > > "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." > > > > 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. > > "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." > > > > 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST. > > "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" > > > > 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. > > "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." > > > > 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. > > "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." > > > > 12.. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. > > "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" > > > > 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. > > "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." > > > > 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION . > > "Stop acting like your father!" > > > > 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. > > "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who > > don't >have wonderful parents like you do." > > > > 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. > > "Just wait until we get home." > > > > 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . > > "You are going to get it when you get home!" > > > > 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. > > "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck > > that >way." > > > > 19. My mother taught me ESP. > > "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" > > > > 20. My mother taught me HUMOUR. > > "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." > > > > 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . > > "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." > > > > 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. > > "You're just like your father." > > > > 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. > > "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" > > > > 24. My mother taught me WISDOM . > > "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." > > > > And my favourite: > > > > 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. > > "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
Jimbob-Squarepants © Posted October 10, 2006 Report Posted October 10, 2006 That is so true. Love the last one, wicked!!!
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