Your favourite, Viz Top Tips.

[skr80a]

There must be a fair few threads on this, so 1 more can't hurt. I heard this on 5-live, this afternoon.

 

If you're running out of plan paper, just photocopy you're last sheet until you have enough.

 

or

 

Fool passers by into thinking you keep a bird of prey by walking down the street wearing a leather gauntlet, waving a piece of raw meat in your hand and constantly looking up into the sky.

[emu]

http://www.viz.co.uk/

[MK5]

if you're driving - don't forget to take the car!!

[ZetecVan 2.0]

Always keep a hammer by your bed in case any nails fall out of the ceiling at night.