Bit confused at the minute

[badchild]

Well me and my girlfreind had a talk and have got things we both needed to say off our chests and we're really really happy and still very madly in love and cant wait for the birth of our child.

Now we're on the last of our nerves as we went for her first scan today at 12 weeks pregnant and what did we see? Nothing.

She's had no cramps no bleeding or no pains and we're both going out of our King minds with thoughts just circling round our heads, the midwife referred us to belfast city hospital where the have better equipment and will be able to tell us for sure whats happened.

The midwife said it's either she isn't as far gone as she thinks or she's miscarriaged without knowing and her family have a history of miscarrying so we're fearing for the worst, my head is clean messed up at the min like. has this ever happened anyone here and turned out ok?

Thanks for reading

Ryan

[Trevmk3]

sorry to here that mate, not been through it so i cant really help

[badchild]

heads fooked

[Trevmk3]

all i can say mate is if anything does happen then you have many people on here you can talk to

[badchild]

Cheers always feel like i can talk to people on osf, funny that it's easier to talk to someone thats a complete stranger sometimes

[badchild]

To tell you the truth it's more Dawn (the girlfreind) that i feel sorry for, although i feel like shit i can only imagine what she feels like id say it's always the girl that takes it the hardest

[Trevmk3]

yeah i can imagine it is mate, as they are carrying the burden, just stick by her all the way mate whatever happens as im sure the two of you can support each other

[FredTransit]

I am sorry to hear it, if in fact it's the worst. It's quite difficult to miscarry (so I am told) without noticing. Sadly though it is possible for the body to absorb a foetus, and there is usually a good reason for this, so it's natures way of correcting herself.

[5hane]

wow dude you have had a lot of things happen to you in the last 1-2 months

 

hope all works out for you

[mk2_escort_chick]

Big hug

[Savvi]

Sorry to hear what your going through.

 

My wife was pregnant with twins after mis-carrying twice before, she then mis-carried again and actually held the fetus in her hands before having to go back and get checked out.

 

She was in bits and i was useless ........................ i just can't handle things like that and tend to back away to my own space.

 

After being checked over it turned out that she was still carrying our daughter and nearly 4 years later things are good.

 

My only advice is to try and support her the best you can and try to talk about it, i didn't and stayed that way right up until she was born, all the way through thinking that something would be wrong when she was born and fearing the worst.

 

Luckily for me, my wife had complications after the birth, i had to care for the baby whilst she had an operation which brought me closer to her and now wouldn't be without her, just shows it was worth the upset.

 

As i said before this wasn't the 1st problems we had, but you must believe that things happen for a reason and maybe it just wasn't to be this time ? If like us you keep hoping things will work out for the best eventually.

 

Good luck i know how you must be feeling there's no shame in being upset being a Dad for the 1st time is the best and the worst time in your life all rolled into one.

[badchild]

Cheers for the support

wow dude you have had a lot of things happen to you in the last 1-2 months

You have no idea, it's never ending, just as i think things are going good i get kicked right in the teeth, at the start i didn't want a child this early in life and blamed her but it works two ways and we got things sorted out, i've never been happier than with her and it's not the first time it's happened either but the first time it was over before we knew it.

We made it through it and it made us stronger and hopefully this will too because im really not expecting good news but for her sake ill have to stay strong.

 

Aaarrrrggh fook i love her but things have got to get better for us, she hasn't had a good life to say the least, shes been knocked from pillar to post, she hasn't been brought up but rather dragged up

[Dr Feelgood]

sorry to hear that, i hope you and your gf are alright as well as the baby

[Seldon]

Really sorry to hear this I hope evrything turns out ok for you both mate

[quickrack]

As you say its the Ladies who are hit hardest by these things.

4 years ago we went for a scan. Something was wrong so better scan was done.

And the next day.

And the next.

And the next (FRI)

Then again with a specialist a week later.

Poor mite didnt develop kidneys and had no chance....

She had to carry him to term for 4 months, knowing.

She is still not over it and neither am I.

But.

Be patient. When she is eating the face off you, or calling you names, its just a vent for frustration. Dont take it personnaly and ye come out stronger!

Good Luck to ye.

[numbnuts]

Been there mate and lost one at 12 weeks!!

 

Just remember it's not the end of the world and if you want children it will happen. Just be patient and look forwards to the future.

_________________

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[badchild]

Just home from the royal victoria hospital in belfast where they did another scan and the same thing again, they told us that there's a slim chance that the baby is lieing on it's side/hidden but to brace ourselves for bad news though because most of the time when this happens it is bad news

 

She's to go in again next tuesday so hopefully we'll get a bit of closeure one way or another

 

Just so confusing. She's trying to be strong but i can see deep down it's tareing her up, and it's cutting me up seeing her like it too

[jimbo]

Despite having 12 years on you, my missus and I haven't got round to the kids thing yet, but the thought of going through the ordeals talked about in this thread, puts the frighteners on me.

 

I'm sure that, however this situation pans out, as long as you are there for each other, hold each other and keep talking, love will see you both through.

 

I don't know what else I can say....other than I am thinking of you both.

[G.O]

 

tis nearly a year since we went through this - really hope things work out better for you

[badchild]

Thank you everyone for your kind words, im just soldiering on trying to get on with things and i have work to do that for me but she dosn't work and is just stewing thinking about it day in day out, she's real cut up and i just want to be there for her at the min but my head is clean and utterly fooked too, she wants a bit of time to herself over the next few days which i dont think we should do but i gotta respect what she wants, i think we should be there for eachother and im dying to just hold her in my arms and let my emotions go and have a good fooking cry

 

Fook i dont know, my heads fooked

[mk2_escort_chick]

Once again mate I'll offer you a hug because I have no real words of wisdom.

Just let her know that you're here for her when she wants to open up and talk about everything.

Best of luck with everything m8

[badchild]

It's definite now that she's had a miscarraige and she says she needs to go through it on her own so has called it a day between us, i feel like, i dont know what i feel like to tell you the truth.

 

There was a time when i was a real bad c-unt and the only time i was happy is when i was hurting people, i mean phsyically, i've done some very bad things to people because i dont know when to stop, i've bit, kicked, punched, stamped, pepper sprayed, knuckle dustered, batoned, fought with belts, stools, machettes, nunchakus, hurley bats, baseball bats, you name it i've used it viscousley against someone but i never went out to start fights, in a way you could say im one sadistic bastard, i really do have a very very bad problem in my head but she changed all that and made me see someone about it and ill probabley head back down that road now without her about, she was the only person i opened up to and talked to about my problems and to get things off my chest and now it's just gonna be bottled up again,

 

my heads in a real fooking mess at the min and i just don't know what the fook to do about things, i wish it could just go back to last week when things were fine and everything was good in my life

[Trevmk3]

so sorry to here that mate

 

not sure what else to say

[badchild]

cheers sometimes all you need is a reply, feels like someones actually listening

[Trevmk3]

take things easy bud, try not to let it all get on top of you and make you do somthing you might later regret, she probably just wants to try and get her head round it on her own, i know its not much help me telling you that as i can believe that it may of hit you very hard