Dodgy English from around the world

[Vista]

Wonderful English translations on signs around the World

 

In a Bangkok Temple : 
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A doris, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN. 

Cocktail lounge, Norway: 
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. 

Doctor's office, Rome : 
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. 

Dry cleaners, Bangkok : 
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. 

In a Nairobi restaurant: 
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO MEET THE MANAGER. 

On the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi : 
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. 

In a City restaurant: 
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. 

In a Cemetery: 
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY, BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .. 

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: 
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. 

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant: 
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. 

In a Tokyo Bar: 
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. 

Hotel, Japan: 
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.   (Really!!!)

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery: 
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY. 

A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest : 
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE. 

Hotel, Zurich : 
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE. 

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand : 
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? 

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen : 
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. 
 
A Laundry in Rome : 
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window: 
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE

 

[BaileyMex]

Nice one

[MK2Ed]

 

Smoking in bed I agree with, other behaviour the more disgusting the better...

[Vista]

I fancy the hotel in Zurich where "entertaining guests of the opposite sex is permitted in the lobby"

[dacar]

Funny

[mk2 mike]

"Special cocktails for ladies with nuts"

 

Should be in Thailand, not Tokyo

 

They all made me chuckle though.

[rallyesport04]

made me chuckle