Whats wrong with me?

[badchild]

Got a phone call earlier on to say that my granny had died suddenly. She had alzheimers since early last year and although she didnt know what year it was, day it was or how many children she had she wasnt to badly affected because she would just have some bad days but mostly good days where she could remember everything. But since i got the phone call i havnt really felt any sadness, i dont know if it just hasnt sunk in or not yet

[Jimbob-Squarepants ©]

It is a common misconception that people die of having Altzheimers... they don't. It is a truly horrible disease & I have a nan who is suffering with it as well, so I understand mate.

 

It may sink in mate, but on the other hand you may have been expecting it. At the end of the day, she has gone to a better place and she is no longer affected by that nasty illness.

 

I have to pop up to my nans when she kicks off with my aunt because she thinks she isn't home and my aunt is someone else. She always knows who I am though... strange eh?

 

All the best mate

 

*edit* Don't feel bad mate, there is nothing wrong with you

[surfingturnip]

there's nothing wrong with you mate, I felt the same when my grandad died a few years ago. He went quite suddenly and unexpectedly so wasnt in much pain. I didnt feel really sad for a while as I suppose I though he was still around somewhere. You tend to get a bit of closure at the funeral though. As for altzheimers (sp) my other grandad has it. He has no idea who I am anymore and still thinks my dad's sister is still alive despite the fact she passed on from cancer quite a few years ago now

[ZetecVan 2.0]

My gran was the same. It didn't sink in with me until the funeral...

[badchild]

I suppose in a way it was a blessing becauase it looks like it was her heart that gave in the end before the alzheimers had the chance to fully take grip, i can remember my grandpa (her husband) passing away nine years ago and it hit me hard but even today i dont feel anything, cheers for the words of support yer a lovley bunch

[Mrs O/H/C]

when someone you love dies .. it is expected for you to be upset but reality is that sometimes you dont and that doesnt make you a bad person....JUST HUMAN !!

[sab6024]

I was gutted when my gran died back in 2004 and I still wish she was here for me to talk to (only coz she was the only one interested ) My grandad died last year and I felt nothing at all. My dad told me I was heartless because I didn't seem interested. He too had Altzheimers.

 

In my job though I see it very often and I think of it as a happy release when they do go because they are no longer suffering

[FredTransit]

I am sorry for you loss, and I am going to be blunt. You have, in your mind already lost your Gran when she began to suffer with Altzheimers. The lady you knew as your Gran went with the disease, leaving another lady who was not really your Gran. My own mother suffered this way for many years, and when she eventually passed I was sorry, but not distraught. I was like loosing a great great Auntie, a relative but not somebody that close, not like a mother. There is nothing wrong with you, I think you have already dealt with your Gran's loss. Loosing the actual human being is a less devastating loss.

[NHR115]

I cant really comment cause all my grandparents (except 1) died before I was born and I can't really relate to what it feels like, so i'll just offer a hug instead

[MexDan]

I am really sorry to hear about your loss, I think the reason you don't feel as destraught as you think you should is because, like Fred said, you have already dealt with losing your gran when the Altzheimers first become apparent...

 

I was devistated when I lost my grandad a few years back and then lost my nan a couple of years after that. I was extremely close to both of them and I can't ever let it go that they have gone. Everyday I think about them and it has never got that much easier that they have gone. People can deal with this sort of things in different ways.

 

I lost my grandad to cancer over a very short space of time and my nan couldnt bear to live without him so she ended her own life. It was all very sudden and they were both in their early 60's. I strongly disagree with the phrase "time is a great healer" as after a number of years what happened is still constantly with me and the pain just as strong.

 

I guess everyone deals with death in their own way, there is no 'rules' about how you should feel, what you should say, and how you act. Perhaps you have managed to deal with what happened to your gran before she died. What you feel or how you act should never be judged by anyone else, or even yourself.

[ann_capri]

i lost my great,great,great aunte last year to the same thing , i didnt cry till the funrul, and the only thing that set my off was this fact, if she knew i was coming ,she would always bake me a fruit cake , i was the only one she every did that for , and even when she was really bad with the illness , i only had to say fruit cake and she knew who i was , so dont feel hard on your self,everyone deals with this sort of thing there own way

[badchild]

Thanks some thoughtful words there, and yes, your right, the granny i knew died some time ago so i guess ill get over it in my own way, thanks again