X-pack-Glyn Posted February 9, 2009 Report Posted February 9, 2009 When taking your children to the park on a sunday afternoon and come across 2 men kissing, King discusting, i went fooking loopy and kicked em off out of it... spoiled a nice afternoon.
SmokeEm Posted February 9, 2009 Report Posted February 9, 2009 Tin openers! - I know i'm left handed but why the fook can't i use one!
SmokeEm Posted February 9, 2009 Report Posted February 9, 2009 Waheyyyy.... lookie I what just bought http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/NEW-IKEA-CHARM-TI ... 240%3A1318
Mick The Mig Posted February 9, 2009 Report Posted February 9, 2009 Customers who bring cash registers in for repair and say "I think it just needs a bit of a service" when one look tells you it's 20 years old and total knackered.
blower Posted February 23, 2009 Report Posted February 23, 2009 People stealing, fooking around with or just generally having a lack of respect for your property which you've worked hard for and take great pride in!! When people offer to do your washing up and dont do it properly. Go to get yourself a cup of tea to see a dirty ring round the bottom of the mug People telling you intimate details of thier sex lives..keep it private!! I dont wanna know what she/he did to what!! (even worse when its you theyre talking about ) Anyone that can be arsed to complain about the content of late night TV or comedy acts. Roy 'Chubby' Brown recently got complaints about racism in his act.....If you are sensitive to such material...DONT GO AND FCUKIN WATCH IT!!! Also, people who i like to call 'Professional Mourners'. Usually girls who seem to be at every funeral of someone local in a similar age range standing there loudly crying looking for attention. You didnt know them, I never heard them speak of you, why are you here? That itchy shit they fill every loft with. Surely there is a better alternative that doesnt give you the heebeejeebies for the next two days!! Taking girls clothes shopping, try on everything in every shop asking for your opinion. You say you like it, your just saying that it makes her look fat. You say it doesnt suit her, your saying that she is fat. Not only that, once you've exhausted every outfit in the entire shopping complex, you then have to do a lap of honour re-trying those outfits on!!! 5hrs of shopping and coming home with nothing but sore feet, empty fuel tank and a large car park reciept 1.2 Corsa's, Clio's etc with 4in exhausts Chewing Gum People who cannot eat with thier mouths shut. I dont wanna hear and see you chew, I can chew with my mouth shut, is it really that hard to do?? Made upwords that consist of mating two appropriate words to describe a situation or feeling together to form a new word.. for example. What you doing tonight mate?? Im Chillaxing. GET A LIFE!!! People who can happily take the piss out of you and other people but cannot take any form of joke or critisism back. txt spk. why do ppl hve to leve off vwls or spll stuff diffrnt to save 2 secs spellin WHEN IT TAKES ME 15 MINS TO FCUKIN DECIFER IT!!!! People who are in relationships and are happy by the fact that they did, have been, or still are sleeping with someone else without being caught. You dont deserved to be loved and looked after. Roads that are 3 cars wide with cars parked both sides. You know someone is going to meet you head on halfway down and you know damn well it'll be you who has to reverse all the way back to let them through. People who cannot stick to 30 limits in built up areas. Your not clever and you will end up killing someone. People who insist on stopping you in the street to tell you that smoking causes cancer or that if i ever lost a relative / went to a cancer ward id quit. Thanks for that, i had missed all the adverts, posters and slogans on tobacco products. Ive had 3 relatives die from cancer, i know smoking causes cancer but its not the only dangerous thing i do. 4 people a year die in the UK from putting on trousers but i still do it! My lungs, my choice, piss off! Health and Safety. To a point they are useful, but sometimes they are so over the top that they cause more problems than they solve. Especially in engineering! Other than that not a lot really gets to me. Im eassy going i think we have a winner he could almost be a stand up comedian
mk1super Posted February 23, 2009 Report Posted February 23, 2009 People who know you own a quick mode of transport, yet offer you a lift somewhere for what ever reason in there poxy 1.4 clios and try to drive fast and scare you, its not big clever, and you car has about as much forward thrust as me stood bent over on a skateboard with me kecks down letting rip with a wet fart! If you wanna stuff it into a lamp post be my guest just not with me sat next to you
badchild Posted February 23, 2009 Report Posted February 23, 2009 Bursting for a shite and someones pissed over the toilet seat But even worse, people who pull out with no warning in front of motorcycles, it's not just irritating it's fooking dangerous, I've been in that situation twice and it just seems most road users don't care about bikes
Jimbob-Squarepants © Posted February 23, 2009 Report Posted February 23, 2009 Greenwich Council Labour Oh & Ken 'Ferret Face' Livingstone
shakey n his fezz Posted February 24, 2009 Author Report Posted February 24, 2009 girls that fook with my head and say they dont mean it and its complicated wat a twat x
DanV Posted February 25, 2009 Report Posted February 25, 2009 or the good old fashioned break up line.......... 'Its not you its me'. makes you wanna clock em round the chevy chase with a right hook and say 'that wasnt you it was me'. Forgetting to put your bins out for collection, cause then you have a to wait a whole ba57ard fortnight for them to come back, during which you have to sneak your rubbish systematically into your neighbours bins.
vibrating_Cake Posted February 25, 2009 Report Posted February 25, 2009 Vending Machines...How fcuking annoying is it when u get a bag of crisps out the vending machine at work with your last 50p having forgotten your packed lunch only to find out that the worm screw has punctured the bag 3 weeks previous leaving your crisps all soft n soggy. I paid over the odds for those crisps and do ya get a reciept so that you can exchange them?? They do it on purpose I tell ya. Or, if your like me and love chocolate (blue Yorkie will always be king!). You go to the vending machine really looking forward to your blue yorkie cause you need a hit only to discover that there is a single random 'wild card' purpley/reddy yorkie at the front that everyone refuses to shell out for, meaning that you can see what you want, you have the money on you, but you cant bloody have it! AArrrrrrrggggggggg its torturous hahahahahaha i almost wet myself laughing at that one!!! its so true!!! ohhhh i hate lots of things... especially, when your quing on a morning to get into work etc, so you drive at walking pace so you dont have to stop....start....stop....start all the time... and some winker overtakes you and pulls into the nice gap you've made so you dont have to stop...go....stop....go.... and you have to stop!! peeevs me off something rotten! or.... when you're quing and the left hand lane is for streight on... and the right hand lane is for turn right only. theres always one that pulls into the right hand lane and expects to be let back in after jumping the entire queue!!! also... i hate people with too much money and no talent, for example we know someone with a CORSA with over 200bhp.... but cant drive it for shit (hey, i wonder why!) and their second car is a bleeding audi R8 and they "prefer the corsa" like hell! ohh, and daddies/mummies little boys!! with bloody rich parents, get anything they want, have mint cars etc, have friends who only like them for their money, and they dont realise this!! ohh and dont you just hate the people who cut the corner when turning into a junction.... you're there coming upto a give way, wanting to turn right, so you go over to the white line, when some winker turns the corner completley cutting you up making you have to brake hard! because you know full well that if you hit them itll be you're fault! tailgaters dont bother me though, i drive two vehicles, one which is insured by work and doesnt affect my insurance if i crash it, so tailgaters (especially motorbikes who drive so close to my van i cant see them in either of my mirrors!!!) have a nice quick jab on the brakes and if they do it again, slow right down. and the capper... whoever goes into the back of that i feel sorry for, they are built like brick sh*t houses on the rear, the bumper is connected to the chassis!!! ohhh im ranting because i have nothing better to do!!! (can you tell?) ohh AND if you have ever worked in retail... a customer comes to ask you "do you have this in stock" so you go searching for 15mins n find nothing and be as helpful as possible.... and then 5mins later another member of staff asks you, "do you know if this is in stock" from the SAME PERSON who already asked once!!!! DUHH!!! its not gonna magically appear! oh what i also hate is people selling naff stuff on ebay and not telling people the entire storey!! for example "the engine was a good runner when in the car" (not telling you its been outside in the rain for the past 10years) ohhhh and chavs in cars who hearl abuse out of the window and expect you to race them because their bottom of the range audi a3 looked fast on the brochure! AAAND! them bloody scoobies... grow some balls and a brain, blue car yellow decals is soooo last decade! what also annoys me (wow nearly all these are driving related) are those 50mph AVERAGE SPEED CAMERA zones on the motorway, where theres only two lanes. when you're toddling along at 48mph with a lorry up you're arse so close you cant see its headlights just because you're not doing 50mph and they have to use their right foot instead of just cruise control at 50mph! THEN they overtake you, knowing full well in about 500yards time every other car on the road is going to overtake them and all need to go into the outside lane to do so! hmmm... ill stop ranting now =o)
Daggle Posted February 25, 2009 Report Posted February 25, 2009 Hmmm, things that annoy me are probably along the lines of.... When you are sitting down to have a crap and someone hasn't replaced the loo roll, then you have to get up with a turtles head hangin out your ring to walk into the bathroom to get a new one Having crushed nuts on the outside of a really nice cake, I hate nuts so why spoil a really nice black forest gateau with nuts on the outside, grrrr Spending a day cleaning the car and then when you have finished having a birdie crap on it, normally on the windscreen right in front of where you sit so you then have to use the wipers to clean it off and then it all smears Bloody adverts for accident helpline and the such like on the telly, every ad break its the same ones, If you fall over, it's your own bloody fault, get over it and stop trying to blame someone else! Chocolate bars getting smaller, I seem to remember Mars Bars being a lot bigger when I younger, now they cost a lot more but are smaller, how friggin shite is that? Kids having kids!! Why do I have to work my ass of and pay taxes, just so some chavved up slut who can't read or write and can't be arsed to go out and work for a living gets knocked up just so she can get a free house. I think people like that need sterlising. People who stop you in the High Street to either ask me a few questions for a survey or asking me to sign up to give up my money to another charity, Honestly I don't mind giving money away to Charity, but I don't want to be jumped on by someone every 30 feet asking the same thing, its getting to the point where I feel like I am running the friggin Krypton Factor just to get to HMV. Small Dogs, They would be extinct if it weren’t for humans. Any dog smaller than a squirrel should have gone the way of the Dodo long ago. Small dogs in small, fashionable bags being carried by people like Paris Bloody Hilton make me want to see how far I can drop kick the thing. People who drive in the middle lane and STILL don't get the bloody idea when you overtake them and then move into the inside lane in front of them. I can probably come up with some more, but I need a lie down in a darkened room
richie_stix Posted February 25, 2009 Report Posted February 25, 2009 especially, when your quing on a morning to get into work etc, so you drive at walking pace so you dont have to stop....start....stop....start all the time... and some winker overtakes you and pulls into the nice gap you've made so you dont have to stop...go....stop....go.... and you have to stop!! peeevs me off something rotten! nail on the head mate.... happens every King day on the way to work!
DanV Posted February 25, 2009 Report Posted February 25, 2009 Chocolate bars getting smaller, I seem to remember Mars Bars being a lot bigger when I younger, now they cost a lot more but are smaller, how friggin shite is that? No you were just smaller back then Another one this morning!!! Tea Bags- Tea is very much like a swank, u cant start the day without one. So i made myself a good cup of tea (milky and sweet, perfect). Was happily enjoying it in front of the TV when IT happened!!!!! The tea bag had split mid brew filling my mouth with nasty pieces of tea leaves. Still keep finding them hidden between my teeth and where my cheek meets my gum. Ruined my tea, ruined my morning! Oh that leads me on to when someone makes a tea or coffee for you. You start to drink it but it just doesnt taste like they have put any sugar in it, so you have to grin and bear it as you dont want to appear rude by rejecting it. You just about get to the bottom where you find 5mm of glucose stuck to the bottom of the mug. Is stirring my tea before serving really that much of a hardship? If it was a task too strenuous for you, you should have said so, id happily of done it myself
DanV Posted February 26, 2009 Report Posted February 26, 2009 Men Be quicker for women to list the things that dont piss them off wouldnt it!?! Or maybe that is your list of thins that piss you off
vibrating_Cake Posted February 26, 2009 Report Posted February 26, 2009 Men Be quicker for women to list the things that dont piss them off wouldnt it!?! Or maybe that is your list of thins that piss you off
mk1super Posted February 26, 2009 Report Posted February 26, 2009 People who always gotta have the last word
FredTransit Posted February 26, 2009 Report Posted February 26, 2009 Has anybody said petty neighbours yet? Police came round saying one of the vans was not showing tax. After a yes it is, no it isn't five minutes, I went over to see the van had a 1982 tax disc in the window from a shoot I had been on a few days earlier! I had to laugh, but also had to ask if he thought if it had been there since 1982? Not possible anyway seen as it's a B reg (at least I remembered to take off the moody plates!). How sad somebody thought they could get us in trouble! the real disc was in the glovebox BTW.
shakey n his fezz Posted February 26, 2009 Author Report Posted February 26, 2009 Men well thats not nice im very nice thank you
shakey n his fezz Posted February 26, 2009 Author Report Posted February 26, 2009 Has anybody said petty neighbours yet? Police came round saying one of the vans was not showing tax. After a yes it is, no it isn't five minutes, I went over to see the van had a 1982 tax disc in the window from a shoot I had been on a few days earlier! I had to laugh, but also had to ask if he thought if it had been there since 1982? Not possible anyway seen as it's a B reg (at least I remembered to take off the moody plates!). How sad somebody thought they could get us in trouble! the real disc was in the glovebox BTW. ohh you havent met my neighbours we have had the police round saying weve been talkin about them and that weve got lazers threw the walls
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