Am I heartless???

[sab6024]

I just found out that my Granddad has just died. The only thing is is I find it hard to care. My Grandparents emmigrated to South Australia before I was born so I have never met them. When my dad told me that he'd died I just replied with....Oh right! My family have never been close so I'm finding difficult to show any kind of emotion. My dad now thinks I'm being 'Heartless'. He has told me that he wants one of the family to go to Australia for the funeral, but I've told him I'm not interested.

 

What do you think? Am I an unfeeling cow......bear in mind I'm a Carer and see death in my job quite often, I get all upset when one of them die.

[luz008]

even though he's family i dont see how you can get upset about someone you have never met - therefor have no emotional ties to and therefor probably no feelings towards. i dont think you heartless - id be the same

[Long Tall Sally]

NOT heartless hun,.......... just if your not that close a family then its hard to be emotional.........

[MK5]

i don't think you're being heartless at all.

 

i was the same when my dad died. he left when i was 5, and my sister was 3. we didn't see him after that. all i can remember is a miserable time at school because i was from a one parent family.

 

when my mum told me my dad had died i wasn't the slightest bit bothered.

 

why should you grieve or have feelings for someone you don't know?

[RedditchJay]

NO WAY......... sorry to hear that and NO, you are not without a heart.... family are funny things..... you either live in each other pockets or you live miles away....... do what you think is right for you.

[sab6024]

I'm so glad you're all with me on this. My dad is hard work. I moved back home when my mum walked out on him 5 years ago because I felt sorry for him. I'd recently split up with a guy myself and thouht it was a good thing to do. I was caring enough back then.

 

My dad is doing my head in at the moment. Most of the time he doesn't speak to me. I'm moving out again at the end of next month so hopefully it should all be sorted by then. The biggest trouble I have is that me and my dad are too much alike. Very outspoken...so we don't get on.

[Mk2Jo]

Sounds like your grampy was like a stranger to you and while you feel for your dad I don't think it is heartless of you to be un-emotional about his passing.

 

Tell your dad that you understand how upsetting it is for him but say to him that he has to respect how you feel as you didn't really know him. Just because you don't show any emotion it doesn't mean that you don't care

[Vista]

I'm with everyone else, you can't build a bond with someone you've never met. I think your Dad is partly right that someone from the UK side of the family should probably go to the funeral, but reckon it should be him that goes as it was him that had the real family tie not you (assuming it was his father that died)

 

On the other hand, if you can get him to help pay for the trip you could get a nice holiday down under on the back of it Every cloud and all that?

[DeuceCoupe]

no youre not heartless. I was the same when my gran and grandad died they lived in scotland hardly ever saw them.

 

 

If you dont know them that well how can you be upset.

[sab6024]

On the other hand, if you can get him to help pay for the trip you could get a nice holiday down under on the back of it Every cloud and all that?

 

See I thought that for a bit, but then it would still feel wrong. I haven't got the time. I'm working loads at the moment and I'm moving out soonish. I'd probably use the time to look at the cars anyway. Not very considerate. My dad didn't even get on with his dad so I know why he doesn't want to go. Loads of bad family history there..

[MK5]

you can chose your friends but not your family...

[Ratters]

You're not heartless at all imo. Very understandable how you feel. I do agree with the rest of the comments already mentioned too.