This was sent as a supposed joke

[4parajon]

but unfortunately it's very true, you have to read it all though, you'll see why I did'nt put it the jokes section

Makes me sooooo fooking angry

This really is worth the effort of reading it all!!

 

 

REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

 

 

 

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building

and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END

 

 

 

 

 

THE U.K. VERSION:

 

 

 

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building

his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinkshe's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter the squirrel is warm and well fed.

 

 

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference

and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed

while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper with cuts

to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

 

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a

country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so

while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and

The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.

 

The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with

breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".

 

Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that

the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an

immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and

increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

 

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic

Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

 

The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined

for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home

and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account

with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.

The squirrel's food is seized and redistributed to the more needy members of society,

this case the grasshopper .

 

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes,

the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.

The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats

who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice.

On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs.

 

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing,

but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.

Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared

would face death by the mice.

The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

 

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food,

though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him

because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs.

Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'

 

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK.

 

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit.

He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.

 

He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.

Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state

the obvious, is set up.

 

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers

and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.

The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity.

Dogs are criticised by the Government for failing to befriend the cats.

 

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious

failure of government to address the root causes ofdespair arising from social inequity and his

traumatic experience of prison.

They call for the resignation of a minister

 

The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government

failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom.

 

The squirrel,the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing,the burglaries and robberies

have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses,their taxes are increased

to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a

shortfall in government funds. THE END.

[Burns]

bloody hell, that took a long time to read...

 

tis true tho

[Jimbob-Squarepants ©]

Jimbob really wants to get on his soap box here, but I will try not to!

 

How true that really is, it makes me sick. I used to think these things will sort themselves out and get better, but, I am ashamed to say, I don't think they will.

 

We really need to stand up and fight as a nation (U.K) and get this fcuking joke of a government out. We also need to fook off the human rights act & Livingstone. Oh yeah, while we are at it, lets get rid of these fcuking stupid "do good" duff spunks who get paid extortionate amounts of wonga for coming up will half wit ideas and just generally sending this country down the crapper.

 

We desperatley need a revolution in the U.K, otherwise we will continue to live in a DICTATORSHIP. All my life I have grown up with the same belief : I hate piss takers. These people are blatently taking the piss out of us, and what is more upsetting, we all seem to bow down and roll over. No one wants to stand up for anything anymore.

 

We really need to sort this out ourselves and not leave it for Blair to do. At the end of the day, we should never of joined the E.U, as it is down to Brussels that we always have to take on these fcuking down and outs and piss takers.

 

The U.K needs to be given back to the people who it belongs to, otherwise it's identity will be lost!!!!

[caprifan]

Jimbob really wants to get on his soap box here, but I will try not to!

 

How true that really is, it makes me sick. I used to think these things will sort themselves out and get better, but, I am ashamed to say, I don't think they will.

 

We really need to stand up and fight as a nation (U.K) and get this fcuking joke of a government out. We also need to fook off the human rights act & Livingstone. Oh yeah, while we are at it, lets get rid of these fcuking stupid "do good" duff spunks who get paid extortionate amounts of wonga for coming up will half wit ideas and just generally sending this country down the crapper.

 

We desperatley need a revolution in the U.K, otherwise we will continue to live in a DICTATORSHIP. All my life I have grown up with the same belief : I hate piss takers. These people are blatently taking the piss out of us, and what is more upsetting, we all seem to bow down and roll over. No one wants to stand up for anything anymore.

 

We really need to sort this out ourselves and not leave it for Blair to do. At the end of the day, we should never of joined the E.U, as it is down to Brussels that we always have to take on these fcuking down and outs and piss takers.

 

The U.K needs to be given back to the people who it belongs to, otherwise it's identity will be lost!!!!

 

 

hear hear Jimbob for PM

[ZetecVan 2.0]

^^^^^ I agree with everything above me.

 

On an aside, I'm going to start selling conkers to schoolkids and see how long it is before I get arrested for dealing in illegal weapons.

[capriedd]

Jimbob really wants to get on his soap box here, but I will try not to!

 

How true that really is, it makes me sick. I used to think these things will sort themselves out and get better, but, I am ashamed to say, I don't think they will.

 

We really need to stand up and fight as a nation (U.K) and get this fcuking joke of a government out. We also need to fook off the human rights act & Livingstone. Oh yeah, while we are at it, lets get rid of these fcuking stupid "do good" duff spunks who get paid extortionate amounts of wonga for coming up will half wit ideas and just generally sending this country down the crapper.

 

We desperatley need a revolution in the U.K, otherwise we will continue to live in a DICTATORSHIP. All my life I have grown up with the same belief : I hate piss takers. These people are blatently taking the piss out of us, and what is more upsetting, we all seem to bow down and roll over. No one wants to stand up for anything anymore.

 

We really need to sort this out ourselves and not leave it for Blair to do. At the end of the day, we should never of joined the E.U, as it is down to Brussels that we always have to take on these fcuking down and outs and piss takers.

 

The U.K needs to be given back to the people who it belongs to, otherwise it's identity will be lost!!!!

 

Could'nt of said it better my self. no really i could'nt.

Its so true and so fcukin annoying.

[Jimbob-Squarepants ©]

^^^^^ I agree with everything above me.

 

On an aside, I'm going to start selling conkers to schoolkids and see how long it is before I get arrested for dealing in illegal weapons.

 

FPMSL mate

 

Mind you, as you know, you will get arrested, but you will find yourself with a multi milloin pound law suit as well! WHY??????

 

Well, you knowingly went out to sell conkers to kiddies without selling / hiring out saftey goggles!!!!

 

Not to mention some "do gooder" turning around and opening their big fat usless gob and saying that if a bloke was selling conkers to a kiddy, parents should be worried about that sort of behaviour!!!!!

 

No dis-respect or offence to you there mate, but that is the sort of shite that happens these days!!!!

[Dom]

hear hear Jimbob for PM

 

I second that notion!

[ZetecVan 2.0]

I know Jimbob. I was talking about this to my mates wife a few weeks ago. She's a teacher, and they've got a massive conker tree in the garden, and she said she was going to collect them all up and sell them on ebay.

 

This country has gone mad. Just read a story on the BBC site that said the police got a call to say a couple of lads had stolen a scooter. They saw them but didn't give chase as the thieves weren't wearing helmets - They were afraid of being sued if they had fallen off and hurt themselves.

[capriedd]

has the world gone completly mad???

[mk1super]

I agree its poor show the state this country is in

[Cookie]

I can't get involved in this argument again as i won't sleep tonight due to the fury going through me

 

It is all correct though, and as i'v said in othr posts of this nature, the GREAT in GREAT BRITAIN has all but gone helped along by fookin do-gooders who live in a totally different world and quite honestly should be all put on an island together and blown up!! harsh i know but come on, FFS its common sense thats needed thats all

[Jimsiss]

even if we were to make a protest in london we probably couldn't due to fuel prices being too high to travel there or the public transport services being so messed up that everything is late and so no one could make it on time, then someone will find it all politically incorrect and we'd all be arrested and imprissioned for using our rights to free speech to protest

[mk14dr]

^^^^^ I agree with everything above me.

 

On an aside, I'm going to start selling conkers to schoolkids and see how long it is before I get arrested for dealing in illegal weapons.

 

rightous.