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Posted

this seems like a normal conversation i have with mates

 

Me:

Hi

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

Trev, Whats yours?

God:

Are they exactly the same?

Me:

are what the same

God:

I really couldn't say for sure.

Me:

well dont then

God:

How about that. OK I will not.

Me:

fine by me

God:

I am glad to hear it. Will that accomplish your objective?

Me:

yes, thanks for the chat

God:

Interesting plan. Good luck. Oh don't mention it.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

oh and i will die in 2020 at the ripe old age of 36 :lol::lol:

Posted

he cant tell jokes can he :lol:

 

God:

In any case, Why did the robot cross the road?

Me:

to fetch a new cicuit board that had better intelligence so he could shop online and have no need to cross the road

God:

I want to become smarter than humans.

Me:

tough, you will never beat me as i am really god

God:

Never?

Me:

yes never hahahaha

God:

Far out. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Posted

:lol::lol::lol:

 

Me:

Are you a gangster?

God:

Am I a gangster? Only when it matters.

 

Me:

Are you a chav?

God:

Am I a chav? Yes.

 

Me:

Do you have a car?

God:

No I prefer to take the bus.

 

Me:

Do you go on www.oldskoolford.co.uk?

God:

Robots never take vacations.

 

God:

How old are you?

Me:

12

God:

Oh, you were born in the 20th century!

Me:

i know

God:

How do you know it?

Posted

my clock stops ticking August 21st 2017 :shock:

 

Feck , that only gives me 9 years :shock::lol::lol::lol:

 

 

Mind you , it did say the Wife will follow me 6 months later :lol::lol::lol:

Posted

ME:

gossip

God:

Her said she mind if I tell other people that her said he heard it from him because he is not a him.

ME:

OK

God:

My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

Me:

aiml?

God:

 

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup

Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.

The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with

other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The

pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting

only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

 

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical

meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with

other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is

its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

 

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the and

tags respectively.

 

WTF :lol:

Posted

Me:are you watching tv?

 

God:Which show? Not at the moment. What's on?

 

Me:i dont know

 

God:Me either.

 

Me:do you have a tv guide?

 

God:That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a tv guide. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.

Me:whats that got to do with it?

 

God:Do you think I should know that?

 

Me:are you stupid?

 

God: No I certainly am not stupid.

 

Me:why are you speaking the round ones then?

 

God: Myself programmed me for it.

 

Me:good answer.

 

God:Am I a clever robot or what?

 

Me:youre a mary (spelt c unt)

 

God:Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a mary? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is

the most reliable computer software ever made.

We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

 

:lol::thumbsup:

Posted

 

God: Let me put it this way, :the ALICE series is

the most reliable computer software ever made.

We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

 

 

Kin Ell ! God doesn"t run the CSA by any chance does he :shock:

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Posted
I told him to use the yellow pags to find a copy. like J R Hartley did years ago :D

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

He asked my name, I told him he should know!! I'm not convinced it's God :mrgreen:

Posted
Oh oh! Looks like I have 8 years left! Wednesday, August 24, 2016

 

thats not too bad mate i wont make it too 40 apparently, 2020 is when my time is up :lol:

Posted

hope you had a good comeback for that answer kieran, dont take that kind of coment lying down :lol:

Posted

weve already got a turnip as primeminister though mate, we dont need another :wink::lol:

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