Jimbob-Squarepants © Posted October 25, 2007 Report Posted October 25, 2007 Funniest quote from a TV show??? Discuss!
Burns Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 few here; Daisy answers phone]Daisy: Oh hi Mike. Yeah, he's here, I'll just get him. [to Tim] Daisy: It's your boyfriend. Tim: He's not my boyfriend. [picks up phone] Tim: Hi babe. Mike Watt: Hello Timmy. Tim: Where are you? Mike: Err, Sheffield. Tim: What are you doing in Sheffield? Mike: Fell asleep on the tube. Tim: The tube doesn't go to Sheffield, Mike. Mike: Yeah, I know. I um must have changed at King's Cross. Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Yes, I've died and gone to heaven, females are fighting over their pants. They're going to rip each other's clothes off!Boyce: I'm getting a semi. Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Semi? What's wrong with you boy, I'm like a flagpole! Eddie: I got a free police baton.Richie: Whoo, interesting! Let's have a look! Eddie: Yeah, well, I can't quite lay my hands on it at the moment [points towards his bottom] Eddie: . Richie: Nasty! Eddie: Yeah, it's one of those new long ones as well. With the side handle. It's playing Merry Hell with my liver.
antz Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 futurama: morbo:morbo cant read his teleprompeter. he forogt how you say the letter that looks like a little man with a hat. female news reader: its a T. it goes Teh. morbo: hello little man *waves* I WILL DESTROY YOU! *bangs desk with hand!*
Copey Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 Sybil Fawlty: [sybil suggests a way to get rid of Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be simplest to have him put to S-L-E-E-P. Basil Fawlty: Who? Him or the rat? I could get a discount if we get them both done. Manuel: [suspiciously] Spleep? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Basil Fawlty: [two guests are speaking to Basil in German] Oh, German. I'm sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Basil Fawlty: Polly, what's that smell? Polly: Flowers, I just got them from the garden. Basil Fawlty: Well, what are you stinking the place up with those for? What's happened to the plastic ones? Polly: Being ironed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Basil Fawlty: You'll have to forgive him. He's from Barcelona. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Basil Fawlty: Right, well I'll go and have a lie down then. No I won't; I'll go and hit some guests. and loads of other quotes from Fawlty Towers too, awesome tv program!!
Noodles Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 Bottom Policeman to Eddie 'Do you know that newspaper is upside down?' Eddie'Erm so are my eyes' Bottom Eddie and Riche in pub talking to guy who was in falklands. Riche'So did you have a cry, went for a cry did yer?' Guy'No actually, quite the opposite' Eddie'What you sucked water into your eyes?'
MexDan Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 Only fools and horses quotes.. simply brilliant.. Del to His Dad: They ran his name through the computer but they didn't have a patient called Trotter. But they did have a porter called Trotter. He left two weeks ago with 57 blankets, 133 pair of rubber gloves and the chief gynaecologist's Lambretta!! Trigger And that's what I've done. Maintained it for 20 years. This old brooms had 17 new heads and 14 new handles in its time. Sid How the hell can it be the same bloody broom then? Trigger Theres the picture. What more proof do you need? Del We're just gonna have to let him go then. Rodney We can't just let him go! A stranger on this estate? Imagine what the gangs will do to him? Denzil Yeah. For all we know, he could be part of Al-Qaeda! Rodney Don't be stupid, Denzil. Del Yeah. I mean, does he look like he works in a furniture store? Del Here, Boyce. You know this car's a GTI. If you rearrange the number plates then you got yourself a personalised number plate!
over_head_cam Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 '. . . . . . we don't need TV to entertain us' 'huhu huh huh...he said anus huh huh huh'
Mr Sam Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 Only fools and horses quotes.. simply brilliant.. Del to His Dad: They ran his name through the computer but they didn't have a patient called Trotter. But they did have a porter called Trotter. He left two weeks ago with 57 blankets, 133 pair of rubber gloves and the chief gynaecologist's Lambretta!! Trigger And that's what I've done. Maintained it for 20 years. This old brooms had 17 new heads and 14 new handles in its time. Sid How the hell can it be the same bloody broom then? Trigger Theres the picture. What more proof do you need? Del We're just gonna have to let him go then. Rodney We can't just let him go! A stranger on this estate? Imagine what the gangs will do to him? Denzil Yeah. For all we know, he could be part of Al-Qaeda! Rodney Don't be stupid, Denzil. Del Yeah. I mean, does he look like he works in a furniture store? Del Here, Boyce. You know this car's a GTI. If you rearrange the number plates then you got yourself a personalised number plate! simply the best........
c1arke Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 scrubs : do you want me to talk slower or get a nurse that speaks fluent moron : tis like working with a monkey
BaileyMex Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 Trigger And that's what I've done. Maintained it for 20 years. This old brooms had 17 new heads and 14 new handles in its time. Sid How the hell can it be the same bloody broom then? Trigger Theres the picture. What more proof do you need? You beat me too it mate
bmxdave Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 Happy Gilmor. Bad guy : " I eat little shits like you for breakfast!" Happy : "What? You eat shit for breakfast?"
razersedge Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 the film snatch do you know what nemises means a richus inflickshon of retrebution manafested by an appropate agent persolified in this case by a horrible c*#t ME or sol: what do you mean you did't see it tyrone: it was at a funny angle sol: when you reverse things come at you from behind tyrone: i didn't see it sol: what do you mean you did't see it its a 3 ton truck tyrone its not exactly a packet of peanuts is it or sol: whats that vincent vincent: its a gun sol sol: thats not a gun thats an anti aircraft weapon vincent vincent: well i wana raise some pulses sol: you'll rise hell with that thing vincent the sad thing is that i know these from memery
Pipster007 Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 Pretty much any line from "The Life of Brian"
surfingturnip Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 From the film snatch: Eddie: They're armed. Soap: Armed, armed with what? Eddie: Err, bad breath, colourful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!
Admin Vista Posted October 27, 2007 Admin Report Posted October 27, 2007 Red Dwarf Cat (stood beside food dispenser): - Fish, Fish, Fish (repeats about 10 times) Next shot: - Cat looking very ill with lots of empty fish food containers.... Cat: - Urrrgghhhhh, I've been fished to death!
GT_Jim Posted October 27, 2007 Report Posted October 27, 2007 Young Ones Rick: I think SPG is a stupid name for a hamster Vivian: Fine! Come here Cliff Richard *goes to pick hamster up* Rick: Bastard! Dr. Strangelove You can t fight in here - this is the war room!
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