im dead

[Retro-gone.]

wifeys gone visiting my son over in harrogate,, so i decided while the cats away etc etc id use her new shiny super duper turbo hoover on my workshop carpet, i thought id picked up anything that could possibly damage her new pride & joy but an 8mm nut ran out from under the bench trying to commit suicide , next thing i know the hoover is rattling like a crossflow with half inch valve clearance

 

now normally id strip the hoover (yes this has happened to me before and i was on a strict warning) and retreive the offending item but this particular hoover has the tamperproof fasteners, not your normal pozi screws holding it together..

 

as i said, im dead

[OldskoolSue]

oh dear just put it back where you found it and pretend you never used it

[over_head_cam]

R.I.P Retroglam

 

 

You should know by now, never mess with the 'w0man' things :lol:

[Retro-gone.]

it was a shiny stainless nut too

[emu]

Stand it in the living room, plugged in

 

Then tell your wife that you thought you would help her out but that the hoover started rattling so you've stopped

 

This way, she wont get in a mood because she will be pleased that you were doing housework, and its ultimately her fault for not vacuuming properly last time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You dont REALLY think that will work do you???

 

RIP

[numbnuts]

Can i have your Capri?

_________________

Cooking Chef

[lee 1]

Get yourself to halfords sharpish buy tool life saved best be quick mind they allways come back early when you don't want them to.

 

If that fails can i have 2nd dibbs on the capri

[Retro-gone.]

well ive managed to stop the rattling by tipping the hoover upside down, the nuts still in there though, problem is over the past 23 years shes heard every excuse there is from me

 

the amount of times ive used her hair dryer for drying spray or filler, even tho i clean it thoroughly she knows ive used it, im sure women have a sixth sense

[Retro-gone.]

i just text my son to tell him what ive done, his response?

 

CAN I HAVE THE CAPRI

[Dr Feelgood]

o youre so dead

 

pack a bag asap and run lol

[Vista]

R.I.P Retroglam

 

 

You should know by now, never mess with the 'w0man' things :lol:

 

Last time I messed with the womans things I got a 8.5 lb gift 9 months later, it's costing me a lot more than a new hoover!

 

Sounds like the nut is still rattling around in there as the hoover hasn't enough oommf to suck it through to the bag, you tried shaking it bak out in all directions?

[Mrs O/H/C]

YOU ARE SO DEAD !!!!

[evil knievel]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dear.

[zetecmk2]

GET HER A DUSTPAN AND BRUSH, tell her about the electricity she'll save!!!

 

 

then run!

[Takeshi]

Oh dear. I'm worried for you.

 

Henry vacuum ftw

[Retro-gone.]

shes on her way home, ive stopped it rattling and put it back in the cupboard, im just hoping it doesnt spit the nut out when she does her daily hoovering 2moro

[Vista]

shes on her way home, ive stopped it rattling and put it back in the cupboard, im just hoping it doesnt spit the nut out when she does her daily hoovering 2moro

 

I suggest dropping a bag of nuts and bolts on the living room floor and be carefully picking them up as she comes in.

 

Make a point of stressing that you're sure you've found them all but be wary next time she hoovers the living room as there might be a stray one loafing somewhere.

 

Be sure and keep your innocent face on though

[Retro-gone.]

BRILLIANT

[Toby]

well ive managed to stop the rattling by tipping the hoover upside down, the nuts still in there though, problem is over the past 23 years shes heard every excuse there is from me

 

 

Have you got a dog that might have borrowed the hoover?

 

And put me down for forth's dibs.

[Toby]

 

Be sure and keep your innocent face on though

 

But not the one they see straight through

[Retro-gone.]

its a good job none of you have got our landline number

[Vista]

 

Be sure and keep your innocent face on though

 

But not the one they see straight through

 

When ever I try it, my halo drops so low I trip on it.

[Toby]

 

Be sure and keep your innocent face on though

 

But not the one they see straight through

 

When ever I try it, my halo drops so low I trip on it.

 

 

My inocent face says "ask me about the Hoover" before I've even said "hello darling would you like a nice brew!"

 

And it is lucky!

[V8ian]

Suppose there is one posative thing thats going to come out of this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At least you know what to buy her for CHRISTMAS

[Retro-gone.]

fook fook fook, soon as she walked in the workshop she said, "looks tidy in here, hope you havent been using my new hoover"

bollox i forgot about exhibit 'B'