4parajon Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 Got home from work last night and there was a letter waiting for me, so I opened it and found that there's been a death in the family..............I was really upset about it, not because they were a close family member or anything, but because the family member that has died was.........me.........apparently. This is genuine by the way........not the death obviously but the letter is, its from our friend the taxman who's obviously dropped a bollock as I'm still here, much to the wifes bemusement as I think she'd already eye'd up some new clothes and shoes with the insurance money Its quite amusing to read the letter really (as I'm not dead, if I was dead I'd like to think whoever was reading it would be pretty upset) as it starts off asking for the Personal Representative of me with regards the estate of the late Mr J Crooks then it says please accept my condolences and asks for the name of the representative of my estate. Then its straight into it asking for my "tax position" at the time of my demise There's no flies on the taxman is there Well I thought it was amusing anyway.
sambo Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 maybe you should play along John? and reap the insurance money for the osf!
Admin Vista Posted November 4, 2009 Admin Report Posted November 4, 2009 look on the bright side, does it mean you don't have to pay any more tax? How about the reply Dear Mr Thieving gypsy barsteward As you now consider me dead, is it safe to assume that you will no longer be wanting to steal a third of my income every month? I look forward to spending the money I earned on myself every month instead of having to give so much of it to you to receive so little in return. Yours Sincerely (and very much alive) J Crooks.
Andrade Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 Now THAT is dedication for the forum, taking a laptop in the grave. Its actually a good idea, I'd get bored spending the rest of eternity in a wooden box doing nothing.
.pete. Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 maybe you are dead, but like the fella in Sixth Sence who doesn't know it. Sorry to anyone who hasn't seen it yet as I may have just spoiled it for you.
evil knievel Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 maybe you are dead, but like the fella in Sixth Sence who doesn't know it. Sorry to anyone who hasn't seen it yet as I may have just spoiled it for you. I don't think there is any one in exsistance who doesn't hear that film title and go.... "....... I see dead people... !"
FredTransit Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 look on the bright side, does it mean you don't have to pay any more tax? How about the reply Dear Mr Thieving gypsy barsteward As you now consider me dead, is it safe to assume that you will no longer be wanting to steal a third of my income every month? I look forward to spending the money I earned on myself every month instead of having to give so much of it to you to receive so little in return. Yours Sincerely (and very much alive) J Crooks. that's exactly what I thought! You are dead (RIP by the way) so therefore no longer liable for tax. Call the insurance company quick and cash in your life policy. You have proof.
lotusless Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 have you seen any white lights today
Fishtailparka Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 Was it quite sudden Jon? You looked fairly healthy last time I saw you.
Boreham Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 ye must have the laptop and wireless Broadband in the coffin.. good thinkin.... we'll keep ye posted on happenings up here..
FredTransit Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 OH! Does this mean your motoring insurance could be cancelled? And your licence? Was the letter dated 31 Oct? Or 1 April??
4parajon Posted November 4, 2009 Author Report Posted November 4, 2009 Can i have the Capper? Chloe my daughter has already told me she's having it........sorry. I am so tempted to not do anything about it but I can see this defo coming back and biting me big time on the arse if I dont come clean and tell them I'm still here.........well at least I think I am
PIG Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 i can look after your daughter jon no problems m8,you can keep that shitty capri bud
jimbo Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 maybe you are dead, but like the fella in Sixth Sence who doesn't know it. Sorry to anyone who hasn't seen it yet as I may have just spoiled it for you. Cheers Pete Seriously, don't worry.....It's not even on my "must-see" list, so I can;t be that bothered....
Admin Mk2Jo Posted November 4, 2009 Admin Report Posted November 4, 2009 OMG .... it's those damned strut braces ... has it all been too much for you I think you should put in a claim for some sort of compensation for the upset it has caused your family because you were away on extended holiday at the time the letter arrived and your poor wife was unable to contact you to see if you were okay Fookin retards they are at the Inland Revenue
BIGKEV Posted November 4, 2009 Report Posted November 4, 2009 PLease dont mention the T word where I may read it - You may just start the demise of my little village oh and RIP JOHN
4parajon Posted November 4, 2009 Author Report Posted November 4, 2009 Well bugger me, Jesus drives a Capper!!! Well, we do share the same initials
caprinerd Posted November 5, 2009 Report Posted November 5, 2009 rip jon cant even get away from you when your dead what chance we got if you were alive as for the tax bit, id get in touch with them and say as your dead how can you pay taxes
4parajon Posted November 5, 2009 Author Report Posted November 5, 2009 Just seen this on MSN, its not as rare as you would think A Brazilian bricklayer reportedly killed in a car crash shocked his mourning family by showing up alive at his funeral. Relatives of Ademir Jorge Goncalves, 59, had identified him as the victim of a car crash in Parana state in southern Brazil, police said. As is customary in Brazil, the funeral was held the following day, which happened to be the holiday of Finados, when Brazilians visit cemeteries to honour the dead. What family members did not know was that Goncalves had spent the night at a truck stop talking with friends over drinks of a sugarcane liquor known as cachaca, his niece Rosa Sampaio said. He did not get word about his own funeral until it was already happening. A police spokesman in the town of Santo Antonio da Platina said Goncalves rushed to the funeral to let family members know he was not dead. "The corpse was badly disfigured, but dressed in similar clothing," said the police spokesman, who talked on condition of anonymity. "People are afraid to look for very long when they identify bodies, and I think that is what happened in this case." Ms Sampaio said some family members were not sure the body was Goncalves. "My two uncles and I had doubts about the identification," she told O Globo newspaper. "But an aunt and four of his friends identified the body, so what were we to do? We went ahead with the funeral." The police spokesman confirmed there were doubts: "His mom looked at the body in the casket and thought something was strange. She looked and looked and couldn't believe it was her son. Before long, the walking dead appeared at the funeral. It was a relief." The body was correctly identified later, the police spokesman said, and has already been buried in another state. He declined to release the actual victim's name.
FredTransit Posted November 5, 2009 Report Posted November 5, 2009 That's an honest mistake though, mistaken identity. The tax office were just fukwits pushing the wrong buttons.
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