Seen any good jokes you want to share?

[Rally Pack 2000]

4 hours ago, Vista said:

I am under no illusions!

 

That made me laugh so hard, its why I don't dine out, what's worse the roaches or the way the patrons exterminate them and go back to eating as if nothing has happened? How can you be sure shes Australian though? I will admit that was my first though too to be honest! LOL There is a name for ladies of the outback with such decorum but best not say it on an open forum.

Try this one luv its better sized for the weapon at hand! Good Hunting!

 

[accord83]

On 03/02/2022 at 02:31, Rally Pack 2000 said:

That made me laugh so hard, its why I don't dine out, what's worse the roaches or the way the patrons exterminate them and go back to eating as if nothing has happened? How can you be sure shes Australian though? I will admit that was my first though too to be honest! LOL There is a name for ladies of the outback with such decorum but best not say it on an open forum.

Try this one luv its better sized for the weapon at hand! Good Hunting!

 

Well, a Yorkshireman would just club that with his dick.......

[Rally Pack 2000]

1 hour ago, accord83 said:

Well, a Yorkshireman would just club that with his dick.......

I see a common theme developing here. Is it no longer courageous enough just to step on these things any more? Its a satisfying crunch!

[accord83]

19 hours ago, Rally Pack 2000 said:

I see a common theme developing here. Is it no longer courageous enough just to step on these things any more? Its a satisfying crunch!

Well you wouldn’t want one of those big fellers rearing up and biting your foot, would you James?

[Vista]

3 hours ago, accord83 said:

Well you wouldn’t want one of those big fellers rearing up and biting your foot, would you James?

Biting your foot? If it's feet they bite, why are they called "cock"roaches?

[Rally Pack 2000]

2 hours ago, Vista said:

Biting your foot? If it's feet they bite, why are they called "Gerbil"roaches?

Your video suggests we are due for a name change! LOL

[katana]

Moving away from Blood sucking Roaches . . . . . . .

A guy was driving down a road, happily minding his own business when another guy

standing by the kerb sticks his arm out with an upturned thumb.

The driver pulls over and winds down the passenger window - Can I help you? he asks.

'Yeah, I could do with a lift as my car's got a flat and I need to get to town'

'No probs' says the driver, hop in and off they go.

After about 10 minutes the new passenger turns to the driver and says 'Can I ask you a question'?

'I suppose so' says the driver.

So passenger says 'Did you consider that I might be a mass murdering serial killer and that I could be planning unspeakable things right now!'

'No' says the driver whilst concentrating on his driving.

But then again, the chances of Two Mass Murdering Serial Killers being in this car at the same time is pretty remote . . . . . . don't you think? 💀

[Painterman]

[Daddio]

[Daddio]

[Painterman]

[Painterman]

[Vista]

The sexual position formerly known as “ 69 “ 

Is now to be known as “ 96 “  as due to the poor state of the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up!

 

Badum tish..... 😆🤣

[meXEco]

What did Chris Rock find on his face on Monday morning?

 

 

Fresh prints.....

 

 

[PeteRS8084]

Boom boom!

[Vista]

😆 Met a  few twats lately

[katana]

Incredibly UN - PC, but funny nonetheless!

Mr Singh was trying to get a job in India.  The Personnel Manager said, "Singh, you have passed all the tests, except one. 

It is a simple test of your English language skills.  Unless you pass it , you cannot qualify for this job."

Mr Singh said, "Sir, I am ready."

The manager said, "You must make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green."

Mr Singh thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager sir, I am ready."

The manager said, "Go ahead."

Mr Singh said, "The telephone goes Green, Green, and I Pink it up, and say, "Yellow, this is Singh."

Mr Singh now works at a call centre.  No doubt you have spoken to him.  I know I have. 🤣🤣🤣

[Vista]

A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.  The husband picks up a case of cider and puts it in their cart. 

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. 

"They're on sale, only £10 for 24 cans" he replies. 

"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a £20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.. 

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. 

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. 

Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of cider and it's half the price."

That's him on Aisle 5 - he never knew what hit him..

 

[Vista]

Fair shout I'd say!

[Vista]

I saw some absolutely disgusting behaviour on the beach today... I watched a man and a woman having an argument in front of loads of kids...

 

Suddenly the woman smacked the guy in the head and it all kicked off...

 

There was a massive brawl and someone called the police. This poor copper turned up on his own and took his batton to the man, the guy managed to snatch it off him and began assaulting the copper and his wife. ......

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then out of nowhere a crocodile crept up and stole all the sausages...

[Rally Pack 2000]

@Vista Did you notice your cockroach whacking boob doris seems to violate Youtubes terms an conditions now? (I may be able to fix it though if you like?)

[Painterman]

[Jerrytom161]

[Daddio]

[katana]

We live in hope!