Admin Vista Posted October 2, 2022 Author Admin Report Posted October 2, 2022 A picture (or video in this case?) paints a thousand words
Admin Vista Posted October 13, 2022 Author Admin Report Posted October 13, 2022 My name, is Michael Caine. You can all see what's coming can't you? VID-20221013-WA0000.mp4 1
Daddio Posted October 15, 2022 Report Posted October 15, 2022 On 16/12/2021 at 15:31, Painterman said: just rediscovered this post - and realised nobody donated 😁😁 Oh dear.
psmk2 Posted November 25, 2022 Report Posted November 25, 2022 A guys in the pub chatting with this lady when suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye pops out.. he manages to catch it and gives her it back.. they really hit it off and he goes back to hers. In the morning he thanks her for a great night and says "I hope you don't mind me asking but do you always go home with a guy on the first date?... "only if they catch my eye" she replies 2
psmk2 Posted November 25, 2022 Report Posted November 25, 2022 What do you call 2 crows in a tree?.... attempted murder 1
Daddio Posted December 14, 2022 Report Posted December 14, 2022 talking about the frenchies (only if I must) I heard we'd have won that footy match the other night if our strikers had rowed up the pitch in little rubber dinghies.....😇 1
Admin Vista Posted December 23, 2022 Author Admin Report Posted December 23, 2022 Out of the mouth of babes 2
Admin Vista Posted January 21, 2023 Author Admin Report Posted January 21, 2023 The Captain and crew of M/Y Snowflake would like to invite you for a luxurious day trip on their new tender. Please be advised that their pronouns are they/them.... 1
Jerrytom161 Posted January 22, 2023 Report Posted January 22, 2023 Thats about right this day and age ,!! Unfortunately …
Vista Estate Posted January 22, 2023 Report Posted January 22, 2023 On 09/02/2020 at 23:26, Vista said: It's a longish one but stick with it. A doris in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am". The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude". "You must be a technician." said the balloonist. "I am" replied the man "how did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk." The man below responded, "You must be in management". "I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the man "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my King fault! Somehow I think the current crop of politicians believe this to be true 🤣 1
Vista Estate Posted January 22, 2023 Report Posted January 22, 2023 Heres one I heard the other day. The sad thing us that it's true. The even sadder thing is that it happens alot in our NHS 🤦♂️. It's a bit long...... so please bear with me. A property maintenance chap was just getting ready to go home when an urgent call came in from a Doctor. The property guys manager dispatched him to the call out. Just as he left, the manager shouted don't forget to sign off the work ticket. When the property guy got to the doctor, the doctor pointed out he had got some emergency gear in his locker and he'd forgotten the combination. Simple said the property guy. He cut off the lock and gave the doctor a new one. On returning to the office, the property guy found it locked so couldn't sign off the work ticket and went home for the night. Next morning the property guy asked for the work ticket but it couldn't be found. At morning break he checked with the other property people about the job ticket. At this point another guy said he'd been to chop the lock off this morning and replace it. And the saga goes round again......
accord83 Posted February 1, 2023 Report Posted February 1, 2023 On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, who obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger. "Well, what on the god's earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger. "Feckin Hell", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything ! 2
Admin Vista Posted March 27, 2023 Author Admin Report Posted March 27, 2023 Bowls, but not as you know it VID-20230327-WA0005.mp4 3
Nige65 Posted March 30, 2023 Report Posted March 30, 2023 ‘Why can’t you have ‘beef stew’ as a password? Because it’s not stroganoff.’ ‘I went to the opticians last week and they told me I was colourblind. It’s come completely out of the green.’ 1 1 1
Miniliteman Posted April 2, 2023 Report Posted April 2, 2023 Strangest ebay-add in years ! https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/385495589417 1
Admin Vista Posted April 26, 2023 Author Admin Report Posted April 26, 2023 To caulk or not to caulk, that is the question! VID-20220302-WA0000.mp4
Miniliteman Posted April 26, 2023 Report Posted April 26, 2023 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-zDkrcs1eg
Miniliteman Posted June 7, 2023 Report Posted June 7, 2023 First person that admits he is on pornhub ...
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