Seen any good jokes you want to share?

[Vista]

Isn't it funny what a bear will do for honey?

 

[Daddio]

[Daddio]

On 07/06/2023 at 08:50, Mexican Gerbil said:

Have you recently moved to Kettering mate? I reckon most of the tarmac round here has more holes than my cheesegrater.

[Vista]

Only in Australia, eh @Rally Pack 2000?

[Rally Pack 2000]

5 hours ago, Vista said:

Only in Australia, eh @Rally Pack 2000?

But I dont drink red?

[Vista]

[Daddio]

As Christmas is now just around the corner (well it's in the shops already)

 

 

[Rally Pack 2000]

1 hour ago, Daddio said:

As Christmas is now just around the corner (well it's in the shops already)

 

 

They should make an all year round advent calendar for Teslas. Every time you see one burning on the motorway you get to open one flap and get a chocolate. I would have had two chocolates this past month alone! YUM!

[accord83]

[Rally Pack 2000]

2 hours ago, accord83 said:

Are those those OEM? You know how I feel about the Chinese aftermarket stuff.

[PeteRS8084]

Is it wrong to think there are a couple of nipples that need greasing? .............

[Vista Estate]

2 hours ago, Rally Pack 2000 said:

Are those those OEM? You know how I feel about the Chinese aftermarket stuff.

It must be cold in the shade!

[katana]

14 hours ago, accord83 said:

What Capri - where?

[Vista]

Support Vegetable rights and peace.....by eating Bacon!

[Vista]

Englishman: "That your dog?"
Welshman: "Aye"
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?'
Welshman: "Dog don't talk.”
Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doing all right."
Welshman: (look of shock)
Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep."
Englishman: How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play."
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Welshman: "Horse don't talk.”
Englishman: "Hey horse how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman)
Horse: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather."
Welshman: (Look of total amazement!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Welshman: "That sheep's a fkn liar!!”
😲

[Daddio]

On 10/10/2023 at 19:12, accord83 said:

she obviously likes a Capri too!!

[Vista]

Just back from the gym, they have a great new machine. I only managed it for half an hour before I started to feel sick and had to quit......

 

It was great though, it did Mars, Snickers, crisps, kit kats, the works!

 

[RWL81P]

whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ones big and heavy and ones a little lighter.

 

 

 

I'll get mi coat.

[RWL81P]

went to shop today to buy some balloons for a birthday party,  being from yorkshire i couldnt believe the price of them. 

I asked the shop keeper why are the balloons so expensive?

He said  said it was inflation.

[Vista]

Sounds fair 👍 😎

 

[Vista]

Not sure if this counts as a joke, or as wise advice?

Be careful what you wish for.

 

 

 

 

 

[Chriscross]

Paddy walks into a cafe & looks at the menu:

Cheese rolls 10p

Ham rolls 20p

swank £10

He then see a beautiful young doris who works there, she has a lovely body and huge tits, Paddy asks 'do you give the wanks?'

'I do' she said

Paddy says 'well go wash your hands, I want two cheese rolls'

[Vista]

😆😆😆

[Rally Pack 2000]

All the friends that I have that own Mk2 Escorts are all RS2000 owners and im the only one with a flat nose so I have a bit of a meme joke around with them about it (Droopsnoot vs Flat) . Would it offend RS2000 owners if I posted the memes here? Its all meant in fun jibing and they come back with some good ones in return. 😀

[Dave Knight]

Just before Christmas, I thought I’d get a temporary job for extra money.

I applied at the local sat and pepper factory,  they said ok, but it’s seasonal work.